Moe Time

Guns, Safety and WMD

Feeling expansive after getting mentioned in the same post as Charles Krauthammer, Andrew Sullivan and Vaclav Havel. That's fine company to keep.

The Squeeze and the Princess are pissed off at me - they're in Carolina and I'm still livin' it up in Austin. If, that is, "livin' it up" is synonymous with "sleeping on the floor next to a smelly dog." Anyway, the Squeeze was understandably nervous about staying in the Moe Town-house with just the Princess to protect her from big, bad state taxation, so I called one of my proud libertarian buddies to keep her company. Aforementioned friend is also armed to the teeth, and I wondered whether he could fortify his presence with a shotgun or two. He demurred, citing local gun laws.

Curious, I went and checked out Carolina's gun laws for my own edification. My, oh my, what a trove of information. Basically, my friend's nervousness stemmed from the fact that it is a misdemeanor for him to knowingly carry the gun to a place where a minor could take possession of it. However, he could only be prosecuted if the minor actually takes possession of the weapon - small chance, given that the Princess can barely coordinate putting her thumb in her own mouth, let alone handle a 12-gauge shotgun. Ah well - my friend's caution is appreciated.

More fun facts from the state gun laws -

• It is illegal to carry a slingshot on school property. Also illegal to carry a grenade.
• It is illegal for a person to "arm himself with any unusual or dangerous weapon...in order to cause terror to others." A gun is considered an unusual and dangerous weapon for the purposes of this law. I suppose my spear, staff and sword are also considered unusual - so much for brandishing my karate credentials.
• It is illegal to carry a gun off the premises in an area declared to be in a state of emergency or in the vicinity of a riot. Which, if you think about it, is the only place you'd really want to carry the gun off the premises.
• North Carolina bans WMD's! Yes, there is an entire section related to Weapons of Mass Destruction, which include grenades, machine guns and nuclear, chemical and biological weapons.
• It is illegal to carry a switchblade, unless the blade is less than 3 inches long and you have only one arm.
• It is illegal to exhibit a gun in a public place in a "careless, angry or threatening manner."

There's lots more, including laws concerning state and federal buildings, carrying a gun into home schools and owning a machine gun used in a previous war. As Stifler would say, I don't know man, owning a gun sounds like a lot of work...

Posted by moe at June 19, 2004 02:16 PM